Weight- 630 grams...
Head circumference- 21 cm
Feeds- tolerating the increase from 2.4 ml to 3.6 ml's really well!
Oxygen- Back on the ventilator again for a rest.....
I remember reading a blog a while back. In it the mother referred to herself as having to be a "dragon mom" to advocate for her son. Its only now that we are realizing what it means to have to be dragon parents. We were told Prudence was doing fairly well all weekend. We were under the impression that we were still doing ok. Not great but ok. So Sunday we had the opportunity after a weekend full of not seeing Juan at all hardly to go to the NICU together. As we walked in, the wonderful, honest night shift nurse told us exactly what was going on. Prudence had been having more episodes. And more severe episodes. Not long after to show us how severe, she had an episode where her oxygen saturation dropped to 10%. 10%!!!!!!!!!
Nothing makes you feel more helpless when you realize that not only had you believed in the lie, but that your baby has been suffering all weekend with no one advocating for her. Within minutes the person in charge of her care was at her bedside and answered all of our questions, specifically how long they were going to let my poor baby get stressed out and use the rest of her already nonexistant reserves. And within hours she was intubated when she continued to take more and more to recover.
The morning x-ray showed the true picture of her lung status. The bases of her lungs had clamped almost completely down. She was moving less and less air and her CO2 was climbing. She should have had a break before it got to this point. But they were focused on keeping her extubated. They were watching numbers and not my looking at this precious little girl.
Other than that huge ordeal, she has been fairly stable. We are having issues with adjusting our expectations some. We have a lot to adjust. There is a new tiredness I have never known before. I am mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. And even though I feel as though I need to sleep for about 27 hours, the Lord gives me strength every morning to get up and to try to figure out how to be a mother to my two girls, a wife to my husband, and to cope with my own healing process that I tend to ignore. Dragon momma I guess.
Bright eyed this morning and already feeling a bit better
This afternoon we were blessed with being able to take Lucy for Dewey's Date Monday. Dewey's bakery gives away free cake squares on Monday's and we love taking Lucy for a sweet treat. We enjoyed our time with our big girl. It was delightful to get time with her today. I love being a mother to my two girls. I am intoxicated by smiles, noises, and even the smell of them. I actually have a hospital blanket that was wrapped around Prudence that I sleep with for the past few nights. I find it comforting, like she is close to me.
Tonight instead of asking for prayers, I would like to say a prayer for everyone who reads.
I pray that you not take it for granted. I pray that you hold all you love extra tight to your hearts. I pray that God is in your life and in your hearts. I pray that you lean on him when times get hard. God gives us more than we can handle all the time. Its so we learn obedience and to rely totally on him to provide. And he will.
Bless you and your families.
Goodnight from micropreemie world!
No comments:
Post a Comment